OK, so this is a bit of a cheat blog. I usually manage a blog post every month, so in the interests of maintaining my record – which only I actually care about – here we go. I don’t have a lot to say or enlighten you with, at least as I start to write this. I also don’t have an apology. I’ve been writing. A lot. And not as much as I’d like. It’s also been oriented too much towards science fact and not nearly enough science fiction. I’ve also not been “spending” quite so much time on social media, which is a bit of shame because there are actually a lot of interesting people and things happening there. So, why?
Why? More specifically, why am I spending more time writing and less time telling people about it? Sometimes you have those revelations as a writer, actually in any endeavour, when you realise that you’re not that good. I was editing a lot at the beginning of the year while I tried to put some short stories into presentable, publishable, shape. My conclusion? Conceptually, I liked, actually I still like, my stories. I have a few in the closet and they cover quite a diverse range of ideas and styles. Perhaps more importantly, my writing was lazy. I am not sure whether my science education helps in being able to take a step back and judge my own work without prejudice. Well, at least not too much.
I’m a lazy writer. This is the end. I need to give up this fool’s dream. Or not. I know you know all of this already and where it’s going. Deep down so did I. I’m not actually a lazy writer. I am maybe a naive writer, or perhaps it was just “the excitement of the newly enraged” – you know how people get when they become passionate about some new thing – they are going to be the best and take over the world etc. I’m not sufficiently narcissistic for this but I was charging ahead so blindly as to not realise (perhaps remember is the better word) that writing takes time and good writing takes even longer.
I am not a lazy writer. My writing is not so bad. My first drafts may well be lazy and badly written, but these are first drafts. They’re supposed to be crap. This is why I’m writing and being even less social than usual, because I love to write and to tell stories. If you’re looking for me that is where I’ll be. I’m sorry if you got this far and where waiting for a revelation. All I have to offer is this epiphany we all go through (repeatedly I expect) that we’re not as good as we thought we were, or need to be, only to find out once again that we were wrong.